Causes of Abuse

Power and Control

Domestic Violence involves patterns of behavior in which one partner in an intimate relationship works to gain power and control over the other partner. It can include a variety of tactics that involve physical, verbal, and emotional abuse. These patterns of behavior can occur over a short period of time or over the span of a longer relationship. The physical abuse can become much more severe each time a partner tries to leave as the abuser strengthens the grip of control.
Domestic Violence With Young Man And Abused Woman
Woman hiding her face from husband's fist, suffering from abuseAfro mother and daughter suffering from domestic violence of father

What Causes Domestic Violence?

Domestic violence is caused by a need to have power and control over an intimate partner. Physical violence is only one aspect of an effective strategy for creating and maintaining power and control.
Domestic Violence is embedded in our social customs and institutions. 

Domestic violence is caused only by batterers NOT victims. Many abusers believe they are entitled to use physical or sexual violence. Domestic Violence is a learned behavior, learned through

• observation
• experience and reinforcement
• culture
• family
• communities (schools, peer groups, etc.)


Domestic Violence is NOT caused by

Mental Illness
Mental disorders such as personality disorders, mental illness, or communication deficits may compound the problem of domestic violence, but treatment for these problems does not eliminate the abusive behavior. There is no DSM-V classification for battering or domestic violence. Some batterers may have a mental health problem, but this is co-occurring with their choice to batter, not a cause of domestic violence.
ACADV: Empowering Victims through Emphathy, Advocacy and Partnership, 2012

Drugs and Alcohol
Abusers may blame their abuse on drinking or drugs, and many abused individuals believe this to be the case. However, abuse is just as likely to occur at other times when the abuser has not been drinking or using drugs. Drugs and alcohol may precipitate violent episodes, but treatment for drugs and alcohol abuse is not an effective treatment for abusers.

Anger and Stress
Anger management involves a person’s ability or lack thereof to appropriately respond to external stressors/triggers (frustrations). Most batterers are able to handle external frustrations in a variety of settings without becoming abusive. Being able to control anger in some settings, but not with the victim, is an indication of targeted choice based violence, not anger management issues.
ACADV: Empowering Victims through Emphathy, Advocacy and Partnership, 2012

Behavior of the Victim
Many abusers are quick to blame the victim for the abuse (I.E. “I would not have done that if supper had been ready and the house was clean when I got home”) , and many abused individuals go to great length to change their behaviors to pacify the abuser (“If I can be a better spouse I will not get hit”). Batterers will often defend the violence by minimizing and justifying, trying to rationalize their behaviors.

Learned Experience
Over 3.3 million children annually in the U.S are exposed to domestic violence. By no means are the majority of these children going to become batterers. However, children who have been exposed to domestic violence are at an increased risk for repeating violence in their relationships.

The reality is Domestic Violence is a CHOICE. Batterers choose to abuse.
This project was supported by Subgrant # 18-VA-VS-032 awarded by the Law Enforcement Traffic Safety Division of ADECA and the U.S. Department of Justice. The opinions, findings, and conclusions or recommendations expressed in this publication/program/exhibition are those of the author(s) and do not necessarily reflect the views of the Department of Justice or grant-making component.

Safeplace, Inc.

Our mission is to promote healthy relationships by providing education, intervention, and safe places. We wholeheartedly believe in our clients’ self-determination, and we’re dedicated to living in a world where family and intimate partner violence does not exist.
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